My son is almost 10 months old and I am still getting asked, “are you pregnant”. Even in my tightest spanx, and fleexes, my pregnancy shape is still very obvious. Is it because I was blessed with children close in age, or is it my age, 40+ that makes shedding the pounds more challenging.
I must admit, I love chocolate and the taste of oatmeal cookies just out of the oven. In fact, I have never had such a lack of restraint during dessert time. Just savoring those delicious moments of warm baked cookies puts a smile on my face, as well as an extra cushion on my tuchis.
I know that I will eventually lose that pregnancy look, but maybe deep down inside I really want to be pregnant again (my husband and entire family would freak) because I felt so present in my life. Even with my third pregnancy (blessing), I would go to babycenter.com everyday and check out my birth club. Even though I had been through it all before, I was ecstatic to be there again. I think I was probably the only person not to complain about waiting over an hour so see my doctor, I was just happy to be there.
So, the next time somebody asks you if you’re expecting because your control top failed you that day, how does that make you feel? My heart goes out to all of the women who are trying to conceive, and get asked that question. You never know what that woman has going on in the fertility department.
So, the baby weight I am still carrying is a constant reminder of how miraculous it is to have been pregnant. Go ahead, you can ask me. But you may ask a woman desperately trying to get pregnant and you’ll never forget her response, and especially how you felt when you heard her say it.
Primetime Parenting 
Please don’t be offended whan asked you on FB. I saw your cartoonish picture of yourself, which had a baby bump. I would never, ever ask anyone if they were pregnant. I used to get that all the time when I wasn’t pregnant and trying desperately to conceive. It was so painful when people would ask. It hurt. When I had to wait for hours at my OB apt’s, I was also happy to just be able to be there, pregnant. We have so much in common, my friend.
I love this. You are so beautifully sensitive. (And, I love babycenter! I thought I was the only one checking out my birth club w/each of my three pregnancies!)
Love how you write…wow…It’s so true I have asked people when they were due and they were not pregnant…I still remember how I felt when I asked the question to that sweet gal….go ahead and have a baby!!! All the best to you and keep up the great writing…
I got asked that all the time for at least a year after my son – I used to say I’m not pregnant, just fat still!
You kill me!
I now make a notation on my pictures posted on Facebook, that ‘NO’ that’s not a baby ponch, just fat. I too have 3 young children so I would like to say that’s my excuse but my youngest is almost 2! Plus ‘in the day’ I used to have a 6 pack! My problem is, I keep thinking that next month I may be pregnant again (BH) so why bother getting rid of it?
As for people saying insensitive things without meaning to, I had a couple bad experiences…I was pregnant with #4 last summer (we were so happy) and then after a couple months we lost the baby. Not so long afterwards, one person said to me “you don’t look pregnant anymore”. My face obviously showed my shock and dismay and I quickly had to leave. Once I composed myself, I went back to the person and they explained they actually thought they were giving me a compliment that I lost my baby fat from my last (known to them) pregnancy. Not too much longer after, another person said to me “Why aren’t you pregnant? This is the longest I’ve known you not to be.”
Right now, I’m dealing with secondary infertility. Since our miscarriage, we’ve been unable to conceive again. I’ve become somewhat of an expert on the subject and the treatments. People don’t understand that even though we have 3 wonderful children, we still ache for the one we lost and the ones that may be. Each month is a constant rollercoaster of expectation, anticipation and disappointment. It gets to the point where hearing “Don’t worry, it’ll come when your body is ready”, “Just have fun practicing”, or the best “It’s ok, you have 3 other kids already.”, is like hearing nails down a chalkboard. I just want to scream!!!
All I know is, I too will be so happy to spend time in the OB-GYN’s office waiting for a pre-natal app’t, and not for a D&C or fertility treatment. And I look forward to feeling fat, uncomfortable, and bloated.